I mentioned a few weeks ago about how Ms. Lord had commented on my blog, saying that the line "stumble and fall" was something that occurred often in school songs, and it is a bit cliched. I told you how I had been grappling with what to do about it because I really liked the line, but I didn't know how to alter it.
Well, I've found a solution. I'm going to completely get rid of that verse and start fresh. It just doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the song, and honestly, I think what I've come up with instead is much better. Hopefully the rest of you will like it too! (This would fit at the end. The last two lines are the Coda).
Though we leave the rolling hills and gorges
And we watch our dreams unfold
Our hearts belong to Ithaca
And we still lie with you as one
The Red and Gold!
I also altered a few words in the verse that I shared a few weeks ago, which I will share now.
Far beneath the pathways of Cornell
And the college high upon South Hill
There lies a school in Ithaca
Where
the youngest minds are filled
We decided that it is really Ithaca College, not Cornell, that is known for its towers, so I changed "towers" to "pathways". Also, "filled" rhymes better with "hill" than does "prevail".
I'm getting closer and it feels really good. I'm so excited right now.
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